Why not just be human...

i wanted to be in defense
i was very patriotic
i then got cancer
somehow i didnt feel that much
what made me sad
was my father struggling
working day and night
to give me treatment

i was a good child
i think i still am
i want to make them proud
now i want to struggle
i love my brother too
we dont express much
but he sometimes feels it too
for me that is enough

it was 1990
i was just 5
it was 2005
i was just 20
i have been troubled
but i have no regrets
my 3 passions in life
my parents, cancer, & myself

i see the rainbow
i know u see it too
u may like it for the colors
and the hue that it creates too
but just imagine if
its there all the time
it would lose its specialty
in no time
i love the rainbow
not for the colors
but its lasts just 2 minutes
and creates its special hue

i wanted to be in defense
i was very patriotic
i then got cancer
and now i realize
why not just be human
was chemo made only for indians
if it wasn't for this world this day
i would not be alive today

For what it's worth...

It’s been more than a year…
Since I jotted down my experience
Was it not worth it?
Or was I not worth it?

Let’s talk about Medicine
Where have we actually reached?
Have we advanced in treatment?
Have we achieved the inevitable?

I was summoned if I may say,
To help a neighbor, to help a friend
To help the family, through this tough period
Most of all, the lady in distress

I went for the session & heard her out
Refreshed my subject and then I spoke
I doubted myself, yes I did
Hadn’t dealt with so much pain, in a very long time

I spoke what was conventional,
I couldn’t reach out to her,
Did I lack that knowledge?
Or was it jus strength?
Or was it something more?
Was I ready to accept?
That this time it’s inevitable?
And there may be life ‘no more’…

It’s been more than a year…
Since I jotted down my experience
Was this worth it?
Or was I worth it?

i just NEED a place to LIVE...

a regular day,
i head for my sessions,
i talk to patients,
that's all i do

i take from them,
i give nothing,
i ask Him for forgiveness
cuz i give nothing

she answered my questions
she gave me all details
her mother & her child
she spoke about her LIFE

this illness has caused pain
since ten months for her now
her husband's back in her life
she's not from this town

i asked her for an address
she had nothing to say
getting treated at the country's best hospital
was her only option today

i asked her what do u eat
she said sai baba's temple prasad
i asked her where do u sleep
she said - the footpath...

Miracle

A contemplative mind – Need to clear my HEAD. I start my informal Keyboard class, a friend being a teacher.


Play in legato
It’s all about the flow
Read & play
Don’t just let it go


A note, it’s a sound
You make it pleasing
A life, it’s unsure
Can you make it certain?


The phone rings & she hopes u recognize her & her husband. You try to recollect, she reminds you – to be able to connect.


The talk is simple
My questions – the same
Their life has improved
They have no one to blame


Yet unable to walk
But is able to talk
But what can he say
When life’s yet at bay


Back in time:
He had ignored it,
Thought he’d be fine
Resorted to the alternatives
Didn’t realize the thin line


She took the phone again and spoke, thanked, wished the New Year, shared all that she got & said ‘we had been remembering you since long, very very long.


She said:
I remember what you said
It still lingers in my mind
When I said treatment is the only choice
You said ‘miracle’ is what you would voice


A simple word – MIRACLE, but a divine occurrence & it follows HOPE. Hope – that which got a second glance, a second chance and was out of Pandora’s Box.


A Miracle
Is it for the deserving?
A Miracle
Would be a Life worth living...

Documentation...

A time comes when we are asked to choose, between sour & sweet, between right & wrong, between the devil & the angel, between Life & Death…
When it concerns your life, along with others’ life, its nothing but strife, or is it otherwise???

Specialize in patient care,
That is, if I may dare,
They say there is need,
They now want to pay heed
Get along your experience
In a document form
Get along your 'perseverance'
& share what’s in your palm

Yes it’s an interview,
An open chance for very few,
But the way I view
Its Life kept 'in lieu'

It was a year back, when I saw them, when I spoke to them, when they shared what they had, when they fought with all that they got…

Documentation – that was the word then & the toughest thing to do. Exchange of calls while filling up the proforma, exchange of emotions for those hopeful eyes

Now, a year later I click the ‘search’ button, I type in names…

I realize each call,
They said God did call
They feel it was soon
But they take it as a boon
The pain was in pair
The cause – wasn’t fair

Those thoughts come back, reminding of those times, when we were younger, when we didn’t know much, but they felt connected, they felt assured, and that feeling is what kept going, time passed, life passed, so did we…

Documentation – that was the word then… I feel at what cost, at whose pain, we all were lost, it was a bane…

Even more, than...even LIFE...

I am sitting here
Looking at the clock
Time ticks by
Do i wana go home?
But what about those
Standing up on 3rd floor
Waiting for their dear one
The dear one inside
With tubes running all over
What about them...?
No track of time,
No track of day,
No track of place,
No track of..... life?
If at all....
They dont know the morning
The beautiful sunrise
They dont know the night
There is no surprise
Time is still ticking
They are still alive
Time is still ticking
How many times can one revive?
They can here us
But cannot speak yet
Their eyes are open
But do they see yet?
What goes on in that mind
Is difficult to say
Or are we missing something
And not seeing it their way?
Those eyes are saying something
The heart is letting it so
But the mind is thinking otherwise
And not letting it go
Lord, please grant me a chance
Help with a second glance
To be able to realize
To be able to actualize
Even more, than i have to offer
Even more, than i have to sacrifice
Even more, than i have to serve
Even more, than.....even LIFE....

PEANUTS!!!

Hey all...

Thought of writin a poem, a rhyme for my first post.. but instead... something else popped up... an experience, an emotion.. a life.... Rejuvenated..

They were sweet
They were simple
They were calm
They were real

Mrs A had cancer in her lung... unable to eat, unable to sleep well, coughin throughout... didnt get treated for a long time...didnt have th resources... her husband had almost given up...
On his wife.. his life...

I saw them that day.. as they came for their regular treatment... those eager eyes.. searchin for some one.. who could listen to them... share what they had to say... hear them out.. feel for them...

It was all in there.. bottled up... causing suffocation....

He was sad, devastated... felt so much for her... couldnt bear the pain...

They were humble... In pain...
Everything to lose...Nothing to gain..

They got it out... finally... it gave peace... it gave strength.. it gave life.... a reason... to restore... to
seek... to be at peace....

I finally felt life...
A stab with a knife...
It hurt.. it wasnt fair...
Cannot revert.. causing despair...

But life got a chance..
Got a second glance...
It finally felt good... it finally felt real..
With arms open it stood.. with nothing to conceal...

They came everyday... finally a smile on their face...
Like they got their blessing ray... all His amazing grace...

They wanted to show gratitude... they did so in kind....
They gave me peanuts...that's all they could find...
They couldnt afford more... they'd already touched my heart's core...

And oh grace!
They gave an alltogether different meaning to
PEANUTS!!!